True Story: When I was in high school I thought about getting a nose ring. I talked myself out of it (with a little help from mother dearest). Last year, I got a nose ring. I could’ve had a nose ring for fifteen years by now. The end.
Cool story bro.
But really, I could’ve been rocking a nose ring all this time! I love this thing. It makes me happy. It makes me feel dope. It reminds me that I’m actually a fun, creative, and somewhat nontraditional person. Not like tattoo level. But close.
My point is that my future depends on what I do now. Like the fajita and chips I ate for lunch. My future self might not appreciate that. That dude I spent five years oogling and googling over. My future self cursed the day I met that mane. Well, it’s not quite that bad. He’s cool. The point is, sometimes I make short-sighted decisions. I only think about my immediate future, like next week or even next year. In reality, some of those decisions reverberate much further into my life than I realize. I hold on to the wrong things for months because I’m too scared of facing the immediate consequences of letting it go. How utterly whack.
Recently, a friend of mine expressed that she was considering breaking up with her dude. When she talked about it, I knew for certain that relationship was a rizzidy-wrap. I can hear it and see it and feel it all over her. Yet, she’s holding on. For several reasons, yes. For complicated reasons that I completely understand, yes. For hard reasons. But some of those reasons are things like not wanting to give up on something she has invested in and also not wanting to get back in the dating game. I do agree that the dating scene is absolutely, unequivocally TRASHY right now. I also concurrently believe that there are some gems of some mens and womens waiting to be found. Mostly I believe that she is being short sighted. We (me, her, everybody) make decisions for our bodies and our families and our careers that will make us feel successful or satisfied for the right now. What about three years from now? What about ten years from now? What about then? It’s easier to think about right now and it’s overwhelming to think about fully investing into our future selves. It’s actually easy to stay miserable and stagnant because making a move requires new energy and uncertainty. I know. I get it. I promise I do. But, again, how utterly whack.
We owe it to the 2041 versions of ourselves to pursue what we know in our spirit to be absolutely right for us. (This requires knowing yourself. That’s another post)
That doesn’t mean that we take time for granted. There’s only so much of it for each of us. It does mean that we maximize it. We learn how to negotiate our right now’s with our ten years from now’s. We learn how not to fear time but to use time. That’s what you do with time. You use it. You don’t waste it or fear it or dread it. Use that ish. You thinking about starting over? You thinking about quitting? You thinking about taking a break? You’re too scared of what might happen. Too determined not to have wasted the time you’ve already invested. Too nervous about missing out on something. My experience has taught me that the only experiences that are a waste of time are the missed ones. Don’t set yourself up to be miserable. Get the nose ring, fam. Shoot the shot. Dump the chump. Make a career change. Stop calling old friends. Step down from responsibilities that drain you. Think about what your ten years older self would say to you. Make that person happy with the decisions you’re making now. Douse it with a good bit of pressure to make things happen while you have an opportunity but don’t operate in fear. Act like all the things are yours for the taking. All. The. Things. They’re yours boo.