Why I Don’t Get Jealous

overcoming-envy-and-jealousyThis is the way I approach the world, generally: No one else can have what I want if God has set it aside for me. (shout right here, saints)

Thinking like this gives me a certain level of confidence. If I want something, the only thing that needs to happen is for God to also want it for me. If He does, it will be mine. The job, the opportunity, the man, the house, the shoes, or the piece of chicken. It will be mine if I want it and if God put it in a special place just for me. No one else stands a chance. My resume will float to the top when I apply for a job. My name will come to mind when people with business opportunities wonder whom they can call. The man will see me and make me his wife. I will close on the house before the new paint has even had time to dry. The shoes will walk themselves onto my feet and the chicken will wobble its way to my plate. You get the picture. Everything I want will be mine.

The flip side to this is that God will do the same thing for everyone else. When God sets something aside for someone else, there is no amount of begging, pleading, crying, or promising I can do to have it. It will not happen for me. The job will go to the girl who walks like her feet hurt even when she’s wearing flats (this always puzzles me); the phone calls with opportunities will not come; the man will overlook me (or worse, look right at me and decide my afro puff is too dry and my sense of humor is too corny); not a single lender will give me the loan for a house; the shoes will be too small and the chicken will simply run out.

When the things I pursue or desire do not pan out for me, they were never meant to be for me. So, I don’t get jealous when things seem to work out for others.

It’s not because I don’t want it. It’s not because I’m such a big person. It’s not because I don’t care. I do want it, I’m not that big of a person, and I do care. But I trust God. I trust Him. He’s working it all out for our good right? I have evidence of that. I have been blessed something serious. I’ve been in situations that should not have gone as easily or as well as they went. I’ll get blessed out of the blue sometimes. I’ll just be sitting on my couch and a blessing will come through. Y’all know that’s a shame. Just sitting on my couch! Pajamas on, Netflix blasting, hair wild, looking like I don’t belong anywhere and I’ll get an email like “Mariah, you’ve been nominated as Best Person of the Universe. To accept this nomination, just put on some clothes, comb your hair, and find your way to fancy-land where the rest of us live.” And I’ll look up toward heaven with eyes that have not seen make-up in a month of Sundays like is God punking me right now?

I trust God in the not-so-good times too. Sometimes I’ll want something so bad I can taste it. I remember wanting this job once. I crafted the PERFECT cover letter, cleaned up my resume, made my friends and family review my application materials. I even fasted . . . and y’all can just guess how I feel about not eating. Needless to say, it’s not exactly my thing. Anyway, do y’all think I got that job? No mam. Sure didn’t. They gave it to some guy from Texas. I was like, “Texas? Texas! But Texas is so far away. I’m closer!” Clearly, that didn’t matter at all. Once I calmed down, I realized a few things. That job was meant for the dude from Texas. God set that job aside for him. I was not meant to have it and that’s ok because there is something else for me.

I don’t have to be upset when I meet a woman who has her own company, two children, a nice figure, a fine and faithful husband, the new Lexus RX with a sunroof and red leather interior. Nope. I do not have to be envious. Her blessings have come in the same fashion that mine will. God clearly does not want me to have that Lexus yet. I don’t know why. Can’t figure that part out. But that has no bearing on my attitude. I have what God wants for me, and it is pretty darn good. There is no need to want what she has.

Every so often I struggle with feelings of jealousy or envy, but I always come back to this. I’ll have what I want if God wants it for me as well. There’s comfort in that right? Works for me anyway. Y’all try it and let me know if it works for you.


I'm Mariah. Jesus is my homie. I live in (and was raised in) the south. I am, as often as possible, actively grateful for my family because I understand their life giving power. Really dislike melodramatics. Really love reading and writing so much so that I aspire to be an author. What else?

9 comments on “Why I Don’t Get Jealous

  1. Rachel Love

    Mariah, this was a wonderfully entertaining and thought provoking confirmation of a conversation my friend and I had recently. I too have had the same epiphany, or rather God brought it to my rememerance that what He has for me is for Me! I am still thanking him for some life-changing closed doors and praising him in advance for the doors he is preparing to open. Also remember that a delay is not a denial. God is always working on our behaves even when it feels he is all but still and quiet! I loved this piece. 😍👏🙌🏾

    • Rachel, you hit the nail on the head. He’s always working on our behalves. I love to tell Him thank you for thinking of me even when I’m not even thinking of me or worse, when I’m not even thinking of Him. Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it!

  2. Love it Mariah… Thx

  3. Jeffrey Mister

    Marian great read! As a male, I think the same way (minus the shoes, husband, and other feminine parts). It gives me confidence in what God has given me and gives me real joy to see others succeed. I think about Romans 8:28 on pretty much everything where it says “All things work for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.” Can’t go wrong even when things don’t seem right! Keep writing ma’am!

  4. You hit the nail on the head! I’m a hairstylist and over the past 3 years it feels like everybody qualified or not wants to jump in the beauty industry!!!! Then God reminded me that the influx in the industry hadn’t changed my business at all and I should mind my own. Since then I’ve been cheering other people on and mentoring and I’ve gotten so much fulfillment. We need to mind our own business and wait on Him. !

    • You’re so right Taheerah. God will sustain us. Also, when you’re working with the talents God blessed you with, you definitely don’t have to worry about what everyone else is doing. Do you know how many folks have a blog? Everybody! But no one has one like mine. In the same vein, no one can do hair like you. People will be drawn to you over others. Favor ain’t fair.

  5. Pingback: Deal With Disappointment | "She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness."

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