I recently had an acquaintance of mine mention to me that he would like to start dating seriously after he wraps up a few big projects. I’m not sure if you guys know it or not, but part of my mission in life is to hook all of my cool, single friends up with great guys. Like my mom says, it takes a village to find a husband. For real though. So I was obviously all over this. I asked him what he liked. He started off good. He likes smart, ambitious, athletic women. Then he went on this whole thing about having high standards, which I have now interpreted to mean physical perfection – thick thighs, big behind, full breasts, coke bottle figure, hour glass shape, not too big, not too small.
Wayment. Hold up. Are you Goldilocks and the just right police or some ish? Is this Burger King where you can have it your way or some ish? What factory is out here making these perfect women? I wanted to ask him to name three REAL, AIN’T FAMOUS women who might fit his description. Cuz guess what? It’s about two or three of them mugs in the entire metro area, and they’re dating professional athletes so . . .
Actually, I wasn’t tripping at first. I have great friends who come in all shapes and sizes and interests. It would be no problem for me to find a smart woman who is calling shots on the job and looking good doing it. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that most of my friends look like me. We’re regular. Like, between 500 and 1000 followers on Instagram regular. Like, go to the gym 3 to 5 times a week but eat cheeseburgers regular. Like, might curl our hair or might just put on a hat regular. You know what I’m saying? So regular.
Now let me just say that in the areas of substance, fleek levels are high amongst my friends. They’ve started their own business, opened law firms, sat on the boards of large nonprofits, took on leadership positions in their civic organizations, and many of them already have husbands and children who take family portraits worthy of inclusion in Hallmark’s Mahagony card hall of fame. I will also say that most of my friends are attractive. I’m not saying I don’t hang with non-cute people. I’m just saying most of my friends happen to be cute. Not sure how it happened. Just did.
Ummmm . . . but we ain’t out here stuntin’ on Beyonce or anything. Maybe I should just speak for myself though. Ok so when it comes to me, I know for a fact that no one in life has ever mistaken me for a supermodel. Nobody ever looked at me and asked if I was on the cover of the latest King magazine. It goes beyond looks though. I’m pretty sure none of my law professors thought I’d make partner at anybody’s firm, ever. My high school band director never thought I’d be a member of anyone’s symphony. Because I’m regular.
But let me just tell you a few things about regular people. We run the world! There are several outstanding people who have done outstanding things. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about all these regular people who do extraordinary things. Extraordinary people were just regular people who believed in themselves, prepared themselves, met the right people at the right time, answered the call on their lives, accepted challenges, and decided to do it rather than not do it. The only difference between extraordinary people and regular people is that the extraordinary people did the thing the regular people are still daydreaming about. And it’s amazing what a little stylist/publicist/beautician can do for your fleek – take it from off to on. I feel like I’m about 20 pounds and a good haircut away from being real fine myself.
So listen, Imma need everyone who is looking for bae to watch out for signs of extraordinary in regular people. Ask yourselves these questions:
Is she/he baseline cute? (This is the requisite amount of cute to keep you happy if nothing ever improves)
Does she/he possess the intellectual capacity to do whatever he/she is claiming to want to do?
Is he/she motivated?
Does he/she make you laugh, make you proud, and make you excited?
Does he/she understand you when you speak and even when you don’t?
Does he/she possess similar morals, attitudes, and ideals as you?
If you’ve answered yes to these questions, you might wanna lock that up. Could be bae. Or it could be your business partner. Or it could be your mentor. Who knows? Folks out here looking for something real fancy when regular is the move.
I’m not saying to lower your standards. I’m not asking anyone to stop liking what they like. I’m just asking you to consider what you’ve never considered. Consider someone regular.