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Not So Raven

Raven-Symoné_2011I was ignoring Raven Symone for a long time. Ok no so at first, when she was little, I thought she was adorable. Then, when she started doing the Disney shows I thought she was just a tad annoying but a decent role model for little girls . . . . not my role model but maybe someone else’s. When I first began noticing that she had some cray opinions, I started ignoring her. Now that she is on The View and continuously espousing straight nonsense, I don’t like that chick. Like, if we were in high school I would tell her that she couldn’t sit next to me. If we were in college, I would have house parties and invite all her friends but not her. As a grown up, I would low key hate on her – like, if a guy said she was cute or something I would be like “you know she likes girls right?” Or if she posted a picture on Instagram of something that got a lot of likes, I would show my friends and be like “this chick has time to post pictures but she can’t figure out the difference between countries and continents?”

Poll: who thinks it’s a good idea to put Harriet Tubman’s face on the $20 bill? Stick with me here, we’re still talking about Raven. I would guess that if you even remotely like reading my blog you’d vote in favor of good ole Harriet. In fact, most Americans suggested Harriet (along with several other notable women). You think Raven thinks it’s a good idea? Nope. She doesn’t. Why? Because she thinks Harriet is too far removed from the modern African-American struggle. She would rather have someone more contemporary like Rosa Parks.

Girl.

Father God, help me.

I just need to pause right here for a minute to gather my thoughts and quell the spirit of violence that just pulsated down my back. *puts head on desk, takes a deep breath, and puts slapping hand in pocket*

WHAT IS YOU TALKIN’ BOUT RAVEN? I cheered you on as a child. I let you make it as a teen. I ignored you as you began to get weird (like telling the world you’re neither black nor lesbian although you’re both and engaging in other monkey business like agreeing with someone when they described Michelle Obama as a character from The Planet of the Apes but saying it’s cool because you look like a bird. Well I co-sign on that Raven. You do look like big bird. Low blow, I know. I feel like I deserved it.) Now, I refuse to let you get away with this one. I don’t understand why you even feel the need to compare the two eras – slavery and the Civil Rights movement – for which one was more important or more related to whatever era we happen to be in right now. I can understand a comparison of the two to appraise the techniques, tactics, obstacles, historical imprint, legal imprint, etc. that each used/left. That sort of comparison is helpful and at the least, pretty interesting. But to say one was more meaningful to our current movement is just plain wrong. Had it not been for Harriet and many others like her, Rosa’s black behind would’ve been too busy picking massa’s cotton to be concerned about where she would sit on a bus. In the same vein, had it not been for Rosa, your black butt would be too busy auditioning for black-only films to be worried about The View. Side bar: why is The View worried about you? Why do they allow you on the show? I’m not even trying to be mean. I’m just asking a legit question. But like I was saying, there is no now without a then. There would have been absolutely no progress had it not been for the tremendously brave acts of Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and countless others whose names never made it in the history books. We certainly wouldn’t have a current movement without Rosa Parks, but would we have one without Harriet? No, boo boo. So I don’t get it. There are several reasons to prefer Rosa Parks on the $20 bill. It’s ok to prefer her but not because you think she’s more relevant to today’s movement.

And you know what I really don’t like? (I’m almost done, y’all.) It’s the way she talks. She likes to over enunciate and use that I-know-what-I’m-talking-about tone, which might trick some people. Like, some people could really be sitting at home taking Raven seriously because of the confidence she exudes and the conviction in her voice. Y’all, please tell your aunties and grandmas and babysitters and nephews and children to mute Raven. Please don’t let your loved ones take her for real. Do it for me, y’all.

I don’t like cyber bullies, and I don’t want to be one. I don’t want to speak badly of people online or otherwise unless I think it helps in some way. The way I check myself is to ask if I would find it necessary and if I would have the guts to tell someone this stuff to their face. I thought about it before writing this post. I answered with a resounding yes. If I ever met Raven and we had an opportunity to talk, I would politely tell her to shut up.

Ok, I’m done.

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I'm Mariah. Jesus is my homie. I live in (and was raised in) the south. I am, as often as possible, actively grateful for my family because I understand their life giving power. Really dislike melodramatics. Really love reading and writing so much so that I aspire to be an author. What else?

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