Below is a list of the top five characteristics my husband (better known in some circles as “bae”) must possess. Ya’ll let me know if he’s out there or if I need to reassess.
- Lover of God
Obviously. But he can’t just go to church and own a bible. He has to seek God in all that he does. I have a good friend who is married and explained to me that she could not follow her husband if she didn’t think her husband was following God (shout out to AK!). She nailed the nail on the head (hammer on the nail?…….head on the nail?) I just want to know that I’m with someone who is committed to the same God I’m committed to because then I can expect certain behavior and attitudes from him that align with mine. I want to live an exceptional life. That won’t happen if bae doesn’t get down with the homie Jesus. It is non-negotiable.
- Great sense of humor
I want my husband to be a fool! I want my stomach to hurt when I’m with him because I’m laughing so much. I also want him to think I’m funny too so that we can just feed off of each other. I want people to be scared to invite us anywhere because they know we will either be talking about them or in a corner telling jokes to one another because no else gets us.
This is super subjective and a little non-descript, but it’s the best word I have. I’m not asking for nuclear physicist smart. I would just like for my husband to always have something to share with me or with others that is thoughtful and elevating. You know what I mean? I would also like him to challenge my ideas and beliefs. Also, Imma need him to know how to write and speak. I will absolutely not marry someone who doesn’t know the difference between write/right or want/won’t or proper subject/verb agreement. I make mistakes all the time and I’m not trying to be a snob about it, but I’ve found (through trial and error) that I get an attitude when I hear/see bad grammar. Like, I roll my eyes and give a fierce stank face. It’s bad.
- Self Aware
Hmmmm……what do I mean when I say this? I guess I just mean that I want someone who is comfortable with himself. It goes beyond just that though. Self-aware people usually know themselves really well and allow others to be themselves. Men who are self-aware are usually introspective and take assessments of themselves – always wanting to figure out their motivations so that they can express themselves and understand the things they like and dislike. Self-awareness is a good mix of confidence and humility, both of which I appreciate.
- Big Juicy
Imma tell you right now, I cannot marry a man I am not attracted to. Not going to happen. I’m not sure what he’ll look like, but I know what I like. I like big, juicy guys. (I just chuckled to myself when I typed that) Tall and husky is what I like. I really don’t mind shorter guys though. I do mind skinny. What if we get stranded somewhere and I need him to pick me up and carry me to safety? Can a skinny guy do that? I’m not sure, but if we’re in that situation and he doesn’t pick me up to carry me to safety or if he gets tired along the way, I’m calling a divorce lawyer if I make it to the house. My true bae would have the proper physique to get me out of harm’s way and then take me to the house and …. well, never mind. You understand what I’m saying.
My full list has quite a few more characteristics. I’ve been scared to be specific with God about what I want just in case it doesn’t come wrapped in the package I have in my head. I’m scared that I’ll be disappointed. But then I had a talk with myself and remembered that there are no disappointments with God – no long term disappointments anyway. He has always been faithful, and I have no reason to think He’ll stop.
I’m content with my life right now. All parts of it. So I’m in no rush to be married, and I’m not worried in the least. I’m living in what I call, patient expectation. Whenever, wherever, whatever……..(except not the way Maxwell meant it in his song).