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Since When?

Some people talk, and I immediately stop listening. You have any people in your life like that? I’m sure you do.

An aunt who has an opinion about your every move but has contributed 0% to your personal development.

That girl you went to high school with who lies about everything (She’ll be like oh, no make up for me. I like to keep it natural. Just soap and baby oil over here. But her blue eye shadow be poppin’.)

Your cousin who grew up in the suburbs but swears he’s a little gangsta. (P.O.P. holdin’ it down for life. Thug life. Mama, I love you.)

You look at them while they talk, nod your head like you agree because you’re trying to be polite, and then begin to think about more important things like if walking on the moon feels like stepping on big balls of cotton.

And don’t let one of them start to give you advice. Immediate stank face sets in and you literally bite your tongue to keep from using all the expletives you know. Huh? Since when are you an expert at life? Since when should I care what you think? Since when? These are a few public figures I immediately tune out:

chris-brown-2013-650-430-b
No, Chris.

Chris Brown

It’s not that Chris Brown goes around telling other people how they should live their lives. I don’t think he does that. He does, however, talk a lot of garbage about people. (Girl, when he called Adrienne Bailon a trout mouth a** B**** I did giggle but quickly exited the scene because he would want me to be that petty.) Every time I hear him say anything other than the oohing and aahing he does in his songs, I’m like “who is giving him permission to speak right now?” “Why is his mic on?” “Where is the seat that he should be having?” There should be a committee called “Not now, Chris” that determines when he’s allowed to speak publicly. I’m sure he has a publicist, but it’s bigger than a one-man/woman job. He does not respect people. Period. This could very well (and is likely) the result of some sort of mental illness and/or deep-set character flaw. But we all have issues right?

I can't.
I can’t.

Nick Cannon

Who died and made Nick Cannon relevant? Just to be clear, I know he has built a small empire and people like me have been sleeping on him. I know he married Mariah and then they had dem babies and then he started hosting that talent show I don’t watch but lots of other people watch. However, none of that has magically turned him into an adult. He still acts like a 12-year-old and until 12-year-olds upgrade their level of thinking, I cannot listen to this man doll out marriage/parenting/dating advice. Burr!

Ugh
Ugh

DL Hughley

I feel the most strongly about this guy. He is older than the other two, has more experience and probably more insight, but ….c’mon son. He’s just ignant! I know he tells a good joke every now and then; I know he’s not completely full of ish; but I also know that 60% full of ish is enough for me to disregard 100% of him. I also don’t think he truly respects women, but that’s just me. I’ve considered the fact that I might be too hard on him, but every time I’m forced to listen to his radio show while riding in the car with someone else or shopping at one of those Asian-owned beauty supply stores (bc that’s the stuff they think black women like to listen to in their stores and I’m not sure they’re wrong), I get confirmation that he is indeed a fool.

I don’t mean to be a cyber bully and talk crap about people while hiding behind my computer screen. It’s not something I’ll make a habit of doing. I did want to share though. Read my next post if you didn’t like this one. Whatever.

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I'm Mariah. Jesus is my homie. I live in (and was raised in) the south. I am, as often as possible, actively grateful for my family because I understand their life giving power. Really dislike melodramatics. Really love reading and writing so much so that I aspire to be an author. What else?

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