Why oh why do I know so many girlies who have been dating the same lad for over a year …..and that person …… is still ….. just a really good friend …. with whom she spends all of her nights ….. and cooks for….. and picks up from work when his car is in the shop….. and listens to when he’s upset even when she’s tired …….and gives all her good loving?
Usually the girl wants to be a girlfriend but the boy wants to be “oh we just real cool” or “we just talking right now” or “that’s my girl…like my homie, not my girlfriend”.
What the heck is this about?
I’ll tell ya! It’s about options. It’s about guys knowing they can pick from several and girls knowing he can too. I tell this to everyone I know because I believe it so earnestly. When I was in law school there were about 2 or 3 black dudes in my class and no more than 5 in any of the classes above or below mine. That means there were less than 20 black guys in the entire law school. There were double the amount of black women. Look at these odds!!!
We could talk about how many of the men and women were actually available to date or would have been interested in one another; we could talk about the very real (and oft-picked) option of dating outside of one’s race; we could talk about the fact that the law school didn’t force us to only date one another BUT WE DON’T EVEN HAVE TO! We don’t have to talk about any of those possibilities because those statistics are real life even after deducting points for all the variables (Please don’t start thinking I actually research this stuff. This is just my life experience talking.)
So, every black dude at my law school had several smart, good looking, motivated women with whom he could start a love affair. Every black woman at the school, however, had less than a handful of black men to consider the same. Guess what the heck happens when you have lots of choices? You get choosy! And who ain’t trying to get chose? *insert International Players Anthem*
There are lots of reasons that the African American population weds less often and older. But the result of being black, male, interested in women, educated, and (somewhat) successful is that you get your pick of the flock. And don’t be cute too…..you can whatever you like (What’s up T.I.!!!!).
That’s my hypothesis right now. I’ll let you know if it changes.