Easily Annoyed

I am. People just get on my nerves. All of you people. All of you who:

• Talk too much
• Chew with your mouth open or make weird noises when you eat
• Call me when you know I would rather a text
• Laugh too loud when it wasn’t even that funny
• Tell corny jokes
• Act too cool to hold your girlfriend’s hand in the mall
• Act too cool to admit that you like that dude

• Get confused easily
• Walk with your nose in the air
• Think you’re smarter than most because you got some degree
• Are rude to waiters
• Say a whole bunch in a text or on Facebook but clam up in person
• Let your big wolf dog run around without a leash

But I reflected on my easily annoyed nerves this past weekend and decided that it’s not you, it’s me. Really, baby, it is. You should be free to be your complete self, and I should learn to appreciate your annoying idiosyncrasies . . . or I should just love you from a distance (which is the more likely thing). So, you work on eating without making noises (it’s possible) and I’ll work on not killing you when you do it anyway.