Guest Post: Gray Hue
Follow her on Twitter @Brit_BratG
Girl, you have done it again! You have given the world something to talk about! In fact, your name and music seem to be the trending topic in 3 out of 4 households as I write. No one knows the full story of your untimely death…there are so many speculations, assumptions, and rumors filling the air! I’m so proud of you…you went out with a BANG without a BANG!! *Imaginary hi-five!* You went out alone and on your own…something that you had been struggling to do for years…find your OWN way. I know that it had to have been difficult.
While I won’t ask why because I know that it was your time and that you are at peace with your maker…I will applaud you for giving us so much of youself and your music. At times I know it was more than you could bare. Living up to the expectations of others must be hard…especially when people set the bar so high…never considering your feelings, only theirs.
It must be difficult to present problems when people think that you are both invincible and perfect? It must be difficult to cry on someone’s shoulder when there isn’t one around? It must be difficult to quit a bad habit when you have tried to conceal it for so long? It must be difficult to live behind a facade for fear of the truth being uncovered and it is then discovered that you are not quite the person that people had molded you into?
It’s not your fault, you were never quite that person…you were just a Jerseygirl named Whitney!
One of the most beautiful, most talented, down to earth women that I could have ever DREAMT to have met. I imagine that you would have been kind, friendly, and ready to converse as if we had been friends forever. I would have lent you my ear and my shoulder would have been readily available. Sister girl…we would have had soooo much to talk about and soooo many lyrics to analyze.
Speaking of lyrics, Ms. Whitney…I wish you had only believed what you sang. (Wait, who am I to say that you didn’t? ) Retract that. Scratch that. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes while growing up…I LOOKED TO YOU…
when I was deep down in one of life’s many ruts…your powerful, soulful voice and meaningful lyrics pulled me out. Your last album allowed me to recognize my own strength and to try it on my own. For that I am forever grateful. Many times I have possessed the “IDGAF” attitude…but I have to think about the bigger picture…ME!
I wish you had rid your life of people who were pro-Whitney only when it was beneficial to them. I wish you had been able to live freely and to reach YOUR maximum potential on your own. I had envisioned so much more for you…but it wasn’t in the plan. God makes no mistakes (that’s what they keep telling me…so I guess I’ll keep telling myself the same….). Pretty tired of the same ole rhetoric…blah, blah, blah.
We will never be graced with another Whitney! Just know that I sympathized with you. I could closely relate to your pain, although you sometimes thought that you were all alone in this cold, cruel world. I didn’t want to hear the Whitney got high rumors because I knew that you were just getting by. I knew that you were just trying to find your way. I knew that you were crying out, only your cries were falling on deaf ears. I knew that you were in pain. I knew that you were struggling with the cards that life had dealt you. I knew that you were waiting on your miracle….on that break through that was right around the corner.
Ask me how I know….noooo, I’m not Whitney…I AM BRITTANY. Same script…different cast…starring ME.
Rest on Ms. Whitney! For you are now at peace! Thanks for teaching me patience to hold on even in the darkest hours. I will always take each day…step by step! And even when it hurts so bad…I’ll think of you and find my own strength to proceed. You will be truly missed! AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
Until we meet again…keep singing with the angels…maybe I’ll do back up when I come up! (Wishful thinking)
Love you my sister-friend whom I never met,