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Pass the Passion, Please

I haven’t posted anything in a very long time. I pretty much forgot about this thing. Don’t fret. I’m back 🙂
Today’s topic? Passion! No, no, no not the hot, steamy, romantic type – although we might get to that later. I mean the sort of passion that gets you up every day to go to work and come home every night feeling satisfied with what you do. I mean the sort of passion that makes you speak up during a conversation when you would ordinarily leave it to the fools to argue about. I mean the sort of passion that has been inside of you since you were a child and has guided your career moves ever since. And I mean the sort of passion I don’t have.
Some people come out of the womb knowing what they want to do. I think my brother was born with a paint brush in one hand and a calculator in the other. He’s an artist and a math teacher. A good friend of mine (and ex-boo thang) has been trying to sell one thing or another since age 7. He’s an entrepreneur. I have a line sister who currently works in retail but loves children and wants to open a 24 hour day care center. (I told her I would be an investor when I got my weight up. Wait on it.)
Do ya’ll know what I’ve wanted to do since I was a child? Ok, here goes: be a singer (shout out to Whitney Houston, a five-year-old’s greatest inspiration), novelist, choreographer, speech writer for the president, editor, ballerina, minister, English professor, and for a minute I thought I could just be a career member of my sorority, but they don’t pay you for that. You pay them. So, WTH am I supposed to do with that? Is it just me or am I the only one who really doesn’t know what I want to do with my life? I talk to people some times and they ask me what I’d like to be doing/working, and I have to come up with some b.s. answer because I feel like I should know this by now.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have several interests, and I could think of a few things I wouldn’t mind doing but my passion? I just don’t know. I have been praying, meditating, reading, and waiting on it to hit me, but it hasn’t come yet. Maybe I’m just one of those people who decides to quit her job at age 60 to go be a monk in India (do they let women do that?) or run marathons (yeah right) or be a brick layer (this probably won’t even be a thing anymore by the time I’m 60).
Anyhoo, I’ve decided to just continue to pray about it and allow God to lead me. This is not to say that I don’t get stressed (I got overwhelmed with the thought of it yesterday and had a quick 30 minute cry session) or that this thing doesn’t keep me up some nights, but I have faith. It’ll come to me one day. It’ll come because it has to.
In the mean time, I’ll work this McDonald-salaried-job I have and do some soul searching.
– Southern

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I'm Mariah. Jesus is my homie. I live in (and was raised in) the south. I am, as often as possible, actively grateful for my family because I understand their life giving power. Really dislike melodramatics. Really love reading and writing so much so that I aspire to be an author. What else?

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